Monday, January 21, 2008

Dealing with loss...

This past moth has been a pretty traumatic one in my family, as my last post indicated. We lost a son, stillborn at 22 weeks into the pregnancy. As you can imagine, dealing with that loss is very difficult. We're coming to terms with what happened now, but it's going to be a long, long process.

Along the way, we've gotten the usual platitudes from friends and family.

"It's for the best"

"It's God's will"

"He's in heaven now"

"God had a plan for him"

Bullshit. We have enough on our plates to deal with at the moment, without having to worry that some half-crazed magical sky fairy is out to get us.

Like it or not, and as emotionally difficult as it is to deal with at times, the rational side of me understands that some pregnancies just don't make it to term. Some are lost early, and some later, but the reason for all these losses is physical, not some spiritual hyper-being deciding it wants one more baby to complete its collection and increase the level of suffering on earth.

Each of us needs to heal in our own way, and I don't begrudge those who seek solace in ancient myth. If it helps to make the process easier, I'm all for it. Just don't sign me up for the plan - and think a little before you say "It was God's plan", because that makes no kind of sense.

16 comments:

Angry Lab Rat said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Steve.

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